{ journal } : be nice.

we just should.   

{birthday} : i am 30.

i turned 30 years of age on friday.

it feels very strange. 

i feel a little conflicted in my view on 

completing an entire decade of my life.

actually - i take that back.

i'm not actually conflicted.

i just feel like i'm supposed to be?

thirty seems to be one of those birthdays that is supposed to leave you in drunken tears or 

high-five'ing yourself victoriously. 

i don't necessarily feel either way.

i am not upset. 

but i'm not super excited.

the only word to describe how i feel is maybe...content? 

my life has been a living proof example that -

you can make those 5 & 10 year plans for yourself...

but it may just not happen.

life may fall apart.

it also may fall right back together. 

if i was asked 10 years ago :

"where will you be at 30?"

i would've answered confidently that i'd probably 

be married, have a kid or 2, and maybe even a garden.

{i think i need a garden actually}

my twenties have been less than ideal.

the past years have actually been a mixture of 

triumph, heartbreak, brokeness, refinement, clarity, & growth.

i think that might sum up "the twenties" in general...

it is such a transitional time in life. 

it's a time that a person is learning truths about who they are & who they want to be...

and it is a fun and TOUGH RIDE. 

i would never describe myself as mature right now.

i'm pretty sure no one would.

it's actually awkward for me to think of myself as a true "adult" 

at times. 

because i feel like i have so much more growing to do.

but i've learned very slowly over time - 

that we are never "finished" people.

we are always evolving & changing. 

i may never feel like an adult.

and that's okay.

another weird realization i've come to lately is that - 

i actually HAVE quietly and slowly grown into an "adult".

it doesn't just happen.

and most don't realize the process along the way.

but - through all the sappy reflection i've done -

while trying to determine if i'm actually in the midst of a 

quarter life crisis...

i've realized that i am SO DIFFERENT 

than i was 10 or even 5

years ago. 

my heart, mind and view of the world has drastically changed.

i have evolved and grown into a more "adult version" of myself -

whether i tried to or not. 

Some things i've learned :

* i've realized that i don't want 

to "arrive" or "know everything".

i want to stay curious and young at heart - 

and i'm completely okay with admitting 

i don't have very much figured out. 

* i've realized that i truly know 

what i am good at and what i am terrible at. 

and i've realized that i'm not insecure about those weak spots within me anymore.

* i've realized that it's okay if everyone doesn't like me. 

or approve of my decisions. 

because ...i've realized that i totally trust my own convictions. 

i want to be me and follow my heart.

and i really don't care how others view that. 

* i've realized the importance of loving over judging.  

this is one i am personally so happy i have truly learned. 

i used to be narrow-minded and naive. 

but as i've grown to see my own imperfections - 

i have come to know 100% 

that it is better to love others over judging them. 

all day. everyday. 

I feel like I've settled a lot - 

maybe not in my lifestyle -

but definitely within myself. 

i am okay with the spot i am in.

i am excited about the journey ahead - 

just as much as i am thankful for the past.

all of these things work together to shape us overall.

So yeah...I AM THIRTY.

so what?!? 

Below are some photo's from my birthday weekend. 

it was amazing - i am loved & a lucky girl. 

i have a feeling that this is only 

the beginning of posts like this. 

i hope future entries will be less serious - 

and more about the fun life i get to live. 

i also hope a future post is about how i finally got botox. 

sorry. 

"go up on your hill and see what you find there. 

with grace in your heart and a flower in your hair."

mumford & sons 

{journal} : friend love.

i've been thinking about friendship quite a bit lately. 

the older i get - the less friends i seem to have. 

or i guess i should say - i have fewer REAL friends. 

the kind that always love you.

no matter what. 

the kind of friends that walk through the valleys 

& ride life's roller coaster with you...

in my opinion - unconditional love is the greatest gift 

we can receive in this life.

to be seen and known by others - 

and to receive love anyway...that's what life is about. 

it's what pushes us, carries us, encourages us -

and it's what brings the purest type of joy. 

i am beyond thankful that i have old & new friends to walk through life with.

having those people - that you can laugh your ass off 

with one minute & fall into their arms bawling your eyes out 

the next - to me - is such a simple thing that i often look over and forget to truly appreciate. 

i guess this is my little speech to announce my gratitude. 

words can never express love accurately - 

but i love you - my friends. 

and i am thankful that you love me.

thank you for allowing me to not be perfect. 

thank you for making fun of me & keeping me humble. 

thank you for challenging me to be a better version of myself. 

i'll quit now. 

i get on my sappy train & can't really control it. 

i love the people i've been blessed to call friends.

that's all. 

xo

{throwback} : thursday.

you.are.welcome.

{no - that is not a wig.}

{yes - that microphone is fake.} 

{list} : 12 things learned living in nyc.

I made a spur of the moment decision to move to 

new york city from dallas, tx almost 2 years ago.

i actually can't believe i have been here this long.

most days - it still does not sink in that i actually live here - i tend to feel like i'm on an extended vacation.

(which affects my lifestyle from time to time)

i had visited this city many times before making the move - 

but there are just certain "lessons" one learns once they become a resident of this wild place. 

i am an avid "list keeper" (for way too many categories)

so - below are just 12 of the random things i've learned so far:

  

1. every person is kind of a disaster.(or most i've met)

 a work in progress. 

we are all going down our own personal & particular path -

figuring it along the way. 

this is refreshing coming from the south where -

even if you aren't perfect - you act like you are. 

2.  i have become fully confident in my ability to walk 

an absurdly long distance - 

rain, humidity, or snow. 

when people visit - i realize it all over again - 

because my version of "a quick walk" ALWAYS makes them angry. 

3. It's okay to cry walking down the street. 

everyone has done it at least once. 

i personally have had quite a few complete break downs.

nobody notices (or cares). 

4. Always keep an eye out for a Barnes & Noble.

it's the only place i've found with quick access 

to a public restroom. 

5. If you're running late - the excuse "my train was running behind" seems to always be believable & accepted. 

6. You learn quickly how to walk, text, AND DODGE vomit, dog shit, and the occasional homeless sleeper - with grace & ease. 

7. never tell a cab driver an actual address. 

give him the intersection/cross streets. 

and google map it before to make sure you actually 

know where you are headed. 

cabbies aren't stupid - but they act like they are 

for an extra few bucks. 

8. craigslist in nyc is the opposite of craigslist in dallas.

(i.e. all i really knew before was because 

of the Craigslist Killer) 

here - you use it for - well, for everything.

 finding roommates, buying/selling anything, 

looking for random jobs. 

you can't be afraid of craigslist anymore - or well, 

you are just making your life more inconvenient. 

9. cab rides, subway trips & rides up the elevator 

can serve as a vanity table.

and it's acceptable. 

 i typically always leave my apartment with zero makeup on 

& get ready on the way. 

or i have a panic attack about trying to get out the door on time. 

10. don't ever step on a subway vent in the summer 

while wearing a dress. 

dodge the suckers. 

unless you want 20+ people to see your goods.

11. rainy days are a nightmare.

so are grocery stores. 

(mainly bc they never have things like 

black eyed peas or velveeta cheese. 

(*i'm probably the only person who has ever inquired about these items though.)  

12. HUGE LESSON : life without a Sonic, 

Chic-Fil-A, or Target nearby is awful. 

to be continued...

{journal} : live.love.listen.speak.

yes. yes. yes. & yes. 

{today is} : SPRING

Dear Spring, 

I welcome you with OPEN arms! 

i have never been so ready for warmer days...

today - i treated my already happy mood by giving myself flowers. 

i cannot WAIT to say see-ya to my cold weather uniform - 

hats, sweatshirts, 2 pair of socks &

every single sweater i can layer under my down-feather coat. 

bring on the sunshine.

AND the maxi dresses.  

{pinterest} : story teller?

hi. 

here's my random rambling thought for the moment : 

i think you can tell so much about a person 

by simply looking at their Pinterest page. 

maybe this is because i'm a visual person - 

who loves the inspirational capability of the site 

{and who over-analyzes everything}... 

but seriously - 

if people pin the things they are drawn to, inspired by, and love - 

it's almost like a big fat conglomeration 

of who they are on 1 page. 

and i love that. 

so here ya go - 

here's my Pinterest : 

LINK

i'm almost positive you will think i'm even weirder 

if you actually browse this. 

but - today - i'm being vulnerable. 

it's fine. 

{some things i love} 

{banksy love} 

TANGENT : 
i always say - guys should look at a girl's Pinterest 
if he wants to know the ways to win her over...
bc c'mon -  we all post our favorite flowers, recipes, 
places and all that jazz - it's a free f'ing GUIDE for him. 

{YES - i should have gone into a mental health field with this shiz....i'm sorry.} 

{journal} : love loud.

it really is...

{life} via Instagram : DC

hey heyyy.

so i spent last week in our nation's capital 
with my very favorite person - 
my mama. 

i am lucky. 
for a lot of reasons.
but in particular to this post - 
i am lucky because i can work remotely AND - 
because i have the most amazing mother on this earth. 

Mama D had a work conference in DC + i can do my job 
from anywhere = 
i hopped on a bus and went for the week.  

i have actually never been to DC. 
my family was never the "educational vacationers"...
we only went to the beach. 
end of statement.
so last week - i did my duty as an American citizen & 
did some solo sight-seeing. 
i actually am not a big fan of studying history. 
{is that even okay to say?}
So yeah - i honestly didn't think i'd enjoy 
the actual tourist activity - 
BUT I did. 

I carried around my huge map and had google on lock down - searching everything I AM SURE
 I was supposed to already know from grade school - 
and I actually enjoyed it. a lot. 
{I am also pretty sure this is because I'm almost 30. 
30 year olds are supposed to be cultured, right?}

ANNDDD...so far this post makes me sound like a complete idiot - 
so i'll switch gears and at least attempt to win you over 
with a sweet mom shout out...

Seriously though - more than the trip at all - 
getting to spend a few days & quality/good time with my mom 
made me beyond happy. 
she really is the most fun human being i've ever met. 

living so far from home is tough sometimes - 
it is so easy to get caught up in the hustle & bustle,
day to day drama of a city like NYC...
my mom is one person who reels me back into reality - 
she reminds me of what matters and what i should be focusing on.
it's always humbling but so refreshing. 

so...there's my little update. 
i finally learned some american history & i love my mom.
that's all. 
bye. 


{ instagram : @texturedblog}  

{journal} : accepting change.

apologies for the quote overload here...
but my mind has been crazy jumbled lately.
so many changes going on within my little life.

i hate it and love it. 


i can't help but think that change - 
whether it feels good or bad ... 
might just always be a good thing.

change shakes us up.
it makes us stop and think.
change always offers us a choice : 
stay the same or adjust & grow?
{or maybe this is me being overly optimistic - which is likely}

ehh.

you will learn - if you actually continue 
to read this blog for some reason...
that i struggle with being open.
it's weird - bc i'm awkwardly open about little things - 
things that don't matter.
so people always assume i'm a big open book.
i'm not. 
i'm more like the table of contents.
and maybe a preface.
if you are lucky.
or unlucky?

this ramble entry is me opening up.
i'm admitting that my life is kind of unsettled right now.


i'm learning.
i'm changing.
i'm choosing to grow instead of stay the same.

hopefully one of the changes will be - the freedom to begin sharing more of my life with you here. 

and - hopefully my future "journal" entries 
won't be as lame and evasive as this one. 




"you must constantly ask yourself these questions: 

who am i around? 
what are they doing to me?
what have they got me reading?
what have they got me saying?
where do they have me going?
what do they have me thinking?
and most importantly - 
what do they have me becoming? 
then ask yourself the big question:
is that okay?
Your life does not get better by chance ...
it gets better by change."
Jim Rohn

{tech} : vine video-ing #1

so i learned today that the latest social networking craze 

is called : VINE ...

i was always a late bloomer on this stuff  - 

until i started working in digital media. 

now ... i think it's fun (and my job) 

so - this VINE is sort of like Instagram 

BUT with movement and sound...

I tried to upload my first video - but of course I can't -

so i took a snapshot of my video pics &

you can find me on the app/site @texturedstyle

over & out. 

{today} ... is rainy.

but i kind of love the rain...

{journal} : imperfection.

on my mind...

{life} via instagram : january

life lately via instagram: 

yeah...this captures it nicely - 

but i'll break it down: 

{ left to right } 

#1. it's freezing in NYC - 

i'm not used to this weather. all i want to do is hibernate.

#2. i'm approaching the nice little age of 30 in march - 

trying to be mature and make to-do lists to make myself feel more "accomplished". we'll see if it works. 

#3. i swore i'd never post "nail art" - but i did. 

#4. i just like this quote and typography. 

ramble time.

So.
get ready for a ramble.

here's the deal : this blog used to be a frequent place that i loved to post & got so excited to read my followers thoughts, questions and feedback - whether it had to do with fashion 

or not (which i secretly love). 

i've fallen off the wagon...actually as far as the blogosphere is concerned - i'm a goner. it said peace out to me a long time ago. 

 i think this has to do with my conflicting feelings on focusing this blog around fashion - i mean - yeah, it's what i do. 

i love and adore it. 
it inspires quite the blog following crowd. 

but ...yeah... there are so many times lately that i sit down to post - and just won't ...
because i want to talk about something else. 
most of the time - its probably something that is not that interesting and definitely has nothing to do with being a 
"cool fashion blogger". (#1. i'm not. #2. I'm just not) 

lots of ramble here. sorry. 

so - here ya go - i'm going to start posting frequently again. some days it may be about clothes, style, music, or other neat things that bloggers talk about - and other times ... 
it may be about the taxi driver i just met that warranted an entire page of "notes" in my iphone, how i got hit by gigantic bag of nasty nyc trash as the trash man threw it aggressively towards the street (yes - it's happened. twice. ), or just weird thoughts that run through my head and the crap i'm learning - as an adult. (i just turned 29 in March. and that might be the first time i have ever referred to myself as an "adult" in writing. 
or in general.

i up and moved to nyc with very little thought - zero "pro/con" list, no "is this best for my future" thought time - i just packed my crap and moved. 

 because i needed to. 

for those of you that know me - this wasn't surprising... but most of you still freaked out - because i had no "grown up" job, because i was running from my problems, 

or just because you were going to miss me terribly. 

(*3rd one most of the time) 

blah. blah. blah (i'll fill you all in as we go) 

so - here i am again.
 a not so fashion-y fashion blogger.
nice to meet you. 

nyc outlook - rewind 10 years.

 life is constantly changing 

& mine has especially in the last few years...

i found the below article that i wrote for my hometown newspaper in 2002 about my first visit to the city i now call home...

i haven't decided yet if my life has taken a crazy turn from what i had planned... or if i've just gone completely crazy. 

anyway - enjoy & don't judge me for this lame 

and  way too LONG of a story. 

take that & rewind it back - to 10 years ago...

or not? 

“City girl? Well, maybe not.”  

(*terrible title - i'm aware)

Published:

Thursday, August 15, 2002 12:00 AM CDT

BY REBEKAH DAVIS 

"City girl."

This term had always appealed to me. It just sounds so fun, independent, and different than anything I have ever been. Well, it did appeal to me -- until I traveled into the streets of where real "city girls" reside -- New York City. I found out very quickly that I am no where near "city" material, and the "city people" were quick to label me just what I have always been and will always be--"the practical southern belle."

I was ecstatic as four of my sorority pledge sisters and I planned this trip up north. We visited another friend from school that is from Pennsylvania. I had always wanted to go up north, especially to NYC!

So during the week of July 20-27, I got to experience this dream! We visited in Pennsylvania for a few days, before loading a train early Monday morning (and, by the way, I had no idea trains were actually still used for transportation!) This started the trip off in a neat way, but it sure was a hassle! We unloaded and loaded at three more train stations before arriving at our destination. Finally, there we were--five Arkansas girls trying to flag down a taxi to our hotel!

My first impression was definitely what I had always imagined--humongous buildings, tall billboards, millions of people everywhere, and crazy taxi cab drivers who were not afraid to run over the millions of people everywhere… As we rode in our Lincoln taxi, I stared out the window and ooed and aaaed at the scenery.(Take note that this was the first and last Lincoln taxi we took--yellow cabs did just fine for us after the Lincoln's $30 charge for less than five blocks)

Our first day in NYC was filled with shopping on Fifth Avenue! Wow, I had always dreamed of saying I'd been there! We also walked through St. Patrick's Cathedral, as mass was taking place! Man, talk about a beautiful church! After about an hour of shopping, I declared that I definitely had not saved enough money for this trip--it was going quicker than I could hand it out!

After a full day of shopping, we got ready for our first night on the town! We ate at an awesome bar and grill in Times Square, which I could probably write an entire article on by itself! The lights and nightlife were amazing! There were people everywhere, but for some reason, the five girls from Arkansas were quite an attraction! As people would catch an earful of our accents - they were hooked. Finally, we decided we were just going to act mute, so people would quit making a big deal out of us…but that didn’t quite work.

We got on a local television, though, the first night, as we called the hogs and told all about Arkansas! (Don't worry, we represented it well!) We also made friends with a NYPD cop and "The Naked Cowboy," a guy who stood in the middle of Times Square in his underwear, cowboy hat and boots! (Don't ask!-- that's NY for ya I guess? )

Our second day started off early, as we ventured down into China-town and SoHo! These are locations where you can buy fake name brand things for almost nothing. This day, however, was the hottest day I had felt all summer, and with all the people, things were less than enjoyable. All I wanted all day was a bottle of water--instead of a fake Gucci purse -- but the bottle of water was more expensive, so I just settled for the purse instead (which in fact had “C’s” monogrammed on it instead of “G’s” – which makes me the thirsty idiot.)

This second day was also the most memorable, because we visited Ground Zero. The sight was very cleaned up, but it was still so emotional to see the actual location. Workers were still cleaning and people were everywhere. This day made me realize that what happened to our nation was real and not just something that took over our television stations.

As I stood and looked at the site, there was the largest American flag I'd ever seen, - flying freely in the wind. This gave me an emotional and raw sense of patriotism - but what stood out to me most was a cross - crafted out of the building’s structure beams. This stood in the center of the site and moved me in a more personal way.  I thanked God that no one I knew was involved and took a few moments to pray for the many families that did have loved ones involved or lost in this terrorism tragedy.

This second night we also did what I had always thought of when traveling to New York--we saw the Broadway play "The Lion King” - nothing short of amazing!

It was now time for our third and last day. As we sat in our hotel with no money and  completely out of ideas of anything to do with NO MONEY – we went with the obvious option and decided to try to get on TV again. So--we went to a convienence store and got a box out of the trash dumpster and made a sign. This sign accomplished our final goal--we were on the Today Show! We made a sign, wore Razorback noses, and matching "I love NY" shirts--and not only got on the show, but they talked to us and let us call the Hogs! We were so excited, after that, but to make it better--Katie Couric made time to come and talk to us and take a picture with us during a commercial break! Hey--we finally had an advantage to being "the Arkansas girls!"

As the day ended, we went back to Pennsylvania -- with no money and not enough space to carry all of our purchases! This was an amazing and unforgettable trip--I saw Fifth Avenue, the Statue of Liberty, Central Park, Rockefeller Center, The Empire State Building, etc. But I learned that I love the South--the friendly people and slower pace of life! I will never wish to become a "city girl" again--I'm just fine as "the practical Southern belle."

chords & notes

I love words. 

especially music lyrics. 

there are so many times that i write down 

how a written or sung phrase affects me...

so i keep a little file of them on my Pinterest -  

"chords & notes" 

if you care. 

antigua via instagram.

last weekend my cousin finally decided to tie the knot. 

he made a good choice - not only in his choice of a wife...

but also the location for the nuptials. 

hello Antigua. 

my family loves a beach.

i always tell people that i never went anywhere cultural or educational growing up - 

because when it was time to get away and spend money on vacation - my family was headed towards a beach and hoping to use our brains as little as possible. 

and to this day ... that's the way i view a real getaway.

this was one of the best i've had in a long time.

i needed out of this busy city. 

i needed to have zero cell phone service. 

i needed time with the people i love most. 

it was beautiful in every way. 

 { Mr. & Mrs. Rodney Parnell }

 { my cousin and very best friend } 

 { my mom - she's cute. and she's single. 

and she will hate me for typing that. } 

{ antigua sunset. heaven. } 

Congrats Rodney & Lyndy!

I will be posting more pics once i upload & edit them. maybe.